Learning to Listen

Practices for Coming Back to Ourselves

The beautiful thing is that we don't have to wait until life becomes quiet to begin listening.

We can practice.

Yoga invites us to listen through movement.

The breath gives us a pathway back into the present moment.

Meditation gives us space to notice.

And writing gives what we notice somewhere to land.

These practices don't necessarily give us immediate answers.

Instead, they help us become more available to what is already happening within us.

Meditation: Creating Space to Hear

Meditation is sometimes described as quieting the mind, but I think there is another way to understand it.

Meditation can be a practice of listening.

When we become still, we may begin to notice things that were difficult to hear when we were moving quickly.

The breath.

The body.

A thought that keeps returning.

An emotion we haven't acknowledged.

A feeling of tiredness.

A sense of peace.

There is no requirement to change any of it.

We can simply notice.

And with practice, we may begin to become more familiar with our own inner landscape.

Writing as a Practice of Listening

Sometimes listening inwardly means becoming still enough to notice what our body is telling us.

Sometimes it means giving our thoughts and feelings a place to speak.

Writing can become another form of listening.

Julia Cameron explores this idea in The Listening Path: The Creative Art of Attention, writing about the practice of turning inward and becoming more attentive to the wisdom that can emerge when we give ourselves space to listen.

Writing can help us move beyond the constant chatter of the mind and connect with deeper parts of our experience.

Perhaps this is why putting something onto paper can feel different from simply thinking about it. When we write, we slow down and give our thoughts somewhere to land. We may notice feelings, connections, or possibilities that were difficult to hear before.

Writing can give us a place to begin that conversation.

We don't have to know the answer before we put the question on the page.

We can simply ask.

What do I need to know?

Is there something I already sense but haven't allowed myself to acknowledge?

What do I need to accept?

Is there something I have been resisting or wishing were different?

What do I need to try?

Is there a small step or possibility I have been afraid to explore?

What do I need to grieve?

Is there something I need to acknowledge, mourn, or allow myself to feel?

What do I need to celebrate?

What have I experienced, learned, overcome, created, or become that deserves to be recognized?

We don't have to force an answer.

We can write.

We can pause.

We can listen.

Sometimes the answer is clear.

Sometimes another question appears.

Sometimes we discover that what we needed most was simply the space to hear ourselves.

Writing doesn't require us to have all the answers. It gives us a place to become curious about the questions.

And perhaps, over time, this practice can help us develop something that can be easy to lose:

Trust in our ability to listen to ourselves.

A Practice for Adults: Seeing Ourselves With Kindness

Listening inwardly isn't only about noticing what is difficult. Sometimes, we also need to learn how to notice what is good.

We can become so familiar with our shortcomings, unfinished tasks, mistakes, and the things we wish we had done differently that we forget to pause and recognize the person who is doing their best to move through it all.

Try sitting quietly for a few moments. Let your breath settle and bring your attention inward.

Then gently ask yourself:

What is something I appreciate about myself?
What is something I've moved through that wasn't easy?
What is something I'm proud of?
What quality in myself do I want to remember?
What is something I can celebrate about who I am today?

You don't have to come up with perfect answers.

You don't even have to feel completely convinced by them.

The practice is simply to make space to see yourself with the same curiosity and kindness you might offer someone you care about.

Sometimes listening to ourselves means hearing what needs attention.

Sometimes it means hearing what needs encouragement.

And sometimes, we may discover that beneath all the noise, there is a part of us that has been waiting to be recognized.

Coming Back Into Tune

Perhaps this is what body awareness is ultimately asking of us.

Not to control ourselves.

Not to fix every uncomfortable feeling.

Not to have an answer for every experience.

But to become more familiar with ourselves.

To notice when our body speaks.

To listen when our emotions arise.

To recognize the rhythm of our breath.

To become curious about our thoughts.

To develop discernment.

To give ourselves space to reflect.

To trust that we can pause before we respond.

Our bodies have been communicating with us all along.

The practice is learning how to listen.

And perhaps coming back to ourselves isn't about becoming someone new at all.

Perhaps it is about becoming quiet enough to remember who we already are.

To notice.
To listen.
To understand.
To care.

And, little by little, to come back into tune with ourselves.

And this is where what we practice for ourselves can begin to shape what we offer our children.

What About Children?

If we want children to learn how to listen to themselves, perhaps we can begin by giving them opportunities to listen without asking them to immediately explain or change what they notice.

We can ask:

What do you notice in your body?

What does your breath feel like?

What sounds do you hear?

Do you feel like moving or being still?

What might your body need right now?

There doesn't have to be a right answer.

A child might notice that their heart is beating quickly.

They might notice that their belly feels funny.

They might notice that they want to move.

Or they might say, “I don't notice anything.”

All of those answers are okay.

The goal isn't to teach children to constantly analyze themselves.

It is to help them develop curiosity, awareness, and a relationship with their own experience.

🌿 Try This Together: Listen

Kira Willey's Breathe Like a Bear includes a simple practice that invites children to become still and listen closely to the world around them.

Invite your child to sit comfortably.

Take a slow breath together.

Become still.

Then listen.

What sounds do you notice?

Can you hear something nearby?

Something farther away?

What happens when you listen even more closely?

Take another slow breath.

Then simply notice.

You don't need to find a particular sound.

The practice is simply listening.

🌿 From Outside to Inside

Another practice from Kira Willey's Peaceful Like a Panda invites children to move their attention from the sounds around them toward the sounds and sensations within.

Begin by noticing what you hear outside of yourself.

Perhaps people talking.

Music.

An engine.

The wind.

Then slowly bring your attention inward.

Can you hear your breathing?

Can you notice your belly?

Can you feel your heart beating?

Take another slow breath.

And listen.

I hope you find a moment in your day to try one of these practices for yourself, or with your child—to pause, to listen, and to simply be with whatever you may be feeling or moving through.

Sometimes listening to ourselves begins by first becoming quiet enough to listen to the world around us.

Growing mindful hearts, resilient minds, and balanced bodies